Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My Sister's Keeper vs. Alas, Babylon

*Authors Note- This was a response to an assignment about comparing my novel to real world situations or situations from other novels.  I'm not sure about how I feel about my introduction and conclusion, so I would really appreciate comments on that.
Have you ever been about to leave for vacation, and looked back at your room right before you left? You think you'll see it after a few days or weeks, or whenever you're supposed to get back, and it will look the exact same way you left it. I bet you never even imagined that it would be the last glimpse of your room you'd ever see.

That was exactly what it was like for Peyton, age 11, and Ben Franklin, age 13, Mark's children. When they were told that they were going to visit their uncle Randy for a while, they thought it was just because the holidays were coming up, or maybe they never even thought why they were going, as they were so excited to be leaving dreary Omaha. They never packed their stuffed animals or their favorite toys, because they thought they'd be able to come home and play with them as soon as they came back. They never knew they were never coming back. This reminds me of a very eye-opening scene in the book My Sister's Keeper. Kate, who has been diagnosed with leukemia, is about to leave for the hospital with her family. She's going to get a very important transplant that could go wrong in so many ways. She knows that it's quite possible she won't leave that hospital alive, but unlike most of us would be when faced with high chance of death, she is unusually calm about it. Her parents don't think she realizes that she could die, and they're okay with that. After all, at the time of this surgery, she was only seven, and they don't want to terrify her. Better to be unaware, they think. But she knows. Right before she leaves, her mom and sister come up to her room to tell her it's time to go, and they find her room cleaner than it has ever been, with the quilt pulled so tightly you could "bounce a dime on its", as the book says. The stuffed animals are in a perfect row, not a fraction of an inch out of line, in order from tallest to shortest and all the coloring pages and chapter books that are usually scattered around the room are gone. Kate is just dusting the last corner of her desk when they enter. Her mother and sister are too shocked to speak. Kate explains why her room is so neat and clean in an eerily calm and innocent voice. "It's in case I don't come back."

After I had read this part, I realized why I loved Kate's character so much; because in certain ways, she's wiser and more acceptant of death than any person I've ever met, child or adult. Knowing that at any moment she could die of blood clotting or infected marrow really made Kate realize that she needed to live like she was really about to die.

2 comments:

  1. The conclusion here is the strongest part. I think that the question technique is a weaker technique, and one you should avoid unless you are doing a particularly light selection. The voice becomes too informal for your purpose. Also, notice how the middle paragraph almost becomes a dumping ground for so much information that it lacks clarity, and organization. Be careful not to get caught up in retelling the story, in too much text information.

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  2. I liked your ending, and expecially when you gave yor preference of Kate.

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